As someone who works with parents and kids, I have the privilege of a third party perspective. I always see the positive and am optimistic about my students’ journeys. As an academic coach, it’s my job to remain calm in difficult situations where parents might otherwise explode. However, when it comes to my own child, mama bear comes out and this thinking goes out the window in the heat of the moment. I have had several moments recently that made me realize I am now “that” mom. We all know “that” mom. My only saving grace is that I am aware of my intense reactions and that gives me hope that I will have fewer “that” mom moments in the future.
When it’s my child that has something go wrong, all I can do is ruminate about all the various outcomes and often I focus on the “what ifs” in a negative way. Even small problems seem like disasters. How can I curb feelings that come up so naturally and intensely? I guess I need to acknowledge my feelings, take a few deep breaths, and pretend like I’m an objective third party in the moment. My reactions affect my daughter and I see this day in and day out in my work. Reacting calmly is so much easier said than done, but I’m confident I will get there for the sake of my little pride and joy.
I feel like a much better academic coach now that I have a child of my own because I can better relate to parents. I’m not only part of the mom club, but part of “that” mom club:) My daughter is the world to me and I would love to change “that” mom from a negative to a positive. I aspire to be “that” mom who goes to the end of the earth for her daughter, who remains calm for the sake of my kiddo, and has faith that my daughter will be just fine at the end of the day. I love you Z.
