• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

StudyWise Tutoring

Individualized Academic Coaching and Tutoring

Academic coaching for life-long success

(503) 789-3184   studywisetutoring@gmail.com

  • Home
  • Our Programs
  • What Parents Say
  • About Our Tutors
  • Contact
  • FAQ
  • StudyWise Blog

A Different Approach?

January 16, 2018 by StudyWise

A Different Approach

Parenting is challenging. I think we can all agree on that. However, when our kids are not meeting our expectations, we often blame them, when in fact, we as parents need to take some responsibility. Now this is not a blame game because both kids and parents have a part in creating a solid and positive relationship, but I think we are too quick to put the focus on the kids and not ourselves.

When you are frustrated with how your child is behaving, ask yourself, “What could I be doing different to help my child react more positively?” The answer most likely might be, “I don’t know” because when you are in the trenches it’s hard to see things clearly and objectively. Let me share with you just a few small tips about setting expectations without nagging from the book Parenting ADHD Now: Easy Intervention Strategies to Empower Kids with ADHD by Elaine Taylor-Klaus and Diane Dempster. These tips work for all kids, not just those with ADHD!

The authors explain, “More than likely, when you generate negative responses from your kids there are two things going on. First, kids with ADHD often hear neutral comments as criticism because they are hypersensitive to negative feedback. Second, there may well be an underlying message that you are not saying directly but they are hearing loud and clear, like, “You’ve messed up again.” Even though our intentions are good, kids often hear our comments as judgmental, which puts our kids on the defense, making them feel like failures. So, instead of asking, “Why can’t you ever remember to….?” or “How many times do I have to tell you…?”, remember there is a valid reason they can’t remember things (executive function, working memory, distractions, etc.) and shift your expectations. Perhaps you could say, “It seems like you might need a reminder about this. How would you like me to remind you?” If your child is unsure, you can work together and come up with a solution. If it doesn’t work, just revise your ideas and keep trying! And an added benefit, is that as your child gets older, she will learn to set reminders for herself as she takes on more responsibility.

Meeting your kids where they are, and understanding that how and what we say to them can change their responses and self-esteem, can positively impact your relationship and make for a calmer household. Try it out and let me know how it worked!

Filed Under: Articles

Primary Sidebar

About Me

Amy Dishlip

As the owner of StudyWise Tutoring, I am passionate about helping kids reach their full potential, both in and out of school. I am grateful to have such a rewarding career where I can carry out my life’s purpose. Many years ago I gifted a special student with a necklace that said, “With brave wings she flies.” As with most of my students, this young woman has faced many obstacles and challenges in life. However, she never gives up and always keeps fighting. This bravery helped her fly off to college and she is now soaring. She has reminded me that with brave wings, all my students can and will fly, and you can guarantee I will be along for the ride. Thanks, Kira, for being such a beautiful young woman and the inspiration for my blog name:)

Archives

Academic Coaching for Life-long Achievement >

Individualized Subject Tutoring >

Specialized ADHD Coaching & Counseling >

Request More Info
Free Consultations >

Middle High School Coaching 2022
College Coaching 2022
Parent Consulting 2022
The StudyWise approach to academic coaching is a personalized one-on-one student based service that helps build a better student and person: Organizational skills • Time management • Study skills • ADHD and learning disabilities • Self-advocacy • Building self-esteem • Teacher communications • Individual course tutoring in math, reading, writing and much more.
  • Home
  • Programs
  • Testimonials
  • Our Tutors
  • Contact
  • FAQ
  • Blog

Copyright © 2023 · StudyWise Tutoring, LLC · 503-789-3184